


It's a Shame, Really

by Tianasina



Category: Baldur's Gate
Genre: F/F, F/M, Friendship/Love, Not Beta Read, Obsession, Points of View, Romance, Unrequited Lust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:29:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27602809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tianasina/pseuds/Tianasina
Summary: Points of view from the group. Their thoughts on their leader, and their leaders relationship with Astarion.
Relationships: Abdirak/Astarion (Baldur's Gate)/Original Female Character(s), Astarion (Baldur's Gate)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	It's a Shame, Really

A/N: I recently got Baldur’s Gate 3 and well, this came to mind, I hope that you like it :)

It is a Shame, Really

When I had first met the High Elf, whom I now know as Tav, I had not taken the time to appreciate just how _attractive_ she was. No, in those first few moments of our meeting, I had been glad to find one whom had not been controlled by the parasite in their brain. We fought together through the ship, had worked together to escape the monsters- to find my people who would help us remove the parasites.

When the ship had crashed and we had been separated, I had not expected to see her again. So it had been quite the shock to see her talking to the Tieflings who had trapped me in the cage. She was something of a _comic_ , I discovered as she asked me to say please. I had wanted to hit her in that moment, parasite be damned- she was not receiving a _please_ and the removal of the parasite would be a sufficient thank you.

At this point I had still not noticed her attractiveness- I had, however, noticed her closeness to her, _our_ , companion, Astarion. At the time I did not care, I had a parasite to worry about and Tav could do whatever she wanted, so long as it did not interfere with our mission.   
It was not long after that though, that I began to notice; I noticed the way her obnoxious nose would crinkle when she laughed. The way her hair somehow manage to stay in place as she fought, barely obscuring her creamy neck. She was certainly tempting.  
Her neck was apparently tempting to another as well, given that one morning we awoke to discover that Astarion had apparently spent the better part of the night feasting on it. It felt revolting to think about it- and then she had defended him! She had stood up for him and said that she _trusted_ him. Trusted that he would not eat us- believe me when I say that I had wanted to wring her pretty neck in that moment- what manner of imbecile was she??

It did not take me very long to decern just was type of imbecile she was. The longer we travelled together, the more I noticed. She would do and say things to please him, do things to make him happy- even if it put us in danger, Ethel, for example.   
It frustrated me to no end, that someone as wonderful, who cared for others and was not only a good person, but a good, dare I say, friend, would want to attach herself to that monster. I must admit that I felt relief when I noticed that he did not seem to be returning her affections- perhaps I would be able to seduce her once we had dealt with our parasites.

Then the dreams started- she was using her parasite too much, she needed to stop, before our situation became worse. I overheard Wyll expressing his concerns over her use of the parasites and instead of agreeing with them, she defended the use of the creatures- and that blood sucking thing agreed with her!  
I did not talk about my dreams, what the tadpole tried to tempt me with, but that did not mean that she did not return the favour. No, she liked to talk about her dreams. When we were camping for the night, she even liked to draw them. I had caught her a few times drawing, simply sketching while staring off into nothingness. I glanced at her drawing over her shoulder a few times, they were body parts, flowers, a garden… then, _him,_ at least, at first I thought it was him, but then I noticed that something was off, wrong. It looked like him, but it wasn’t. This was the man from her dreams- the fact that he looked almost identical to Astarion was, disheartening, to say the least. I would keep vigilant, I would bed the girl.

What started as an attraction, the girl was a nice visual distraction, something to keep my mind away from the creature inhabiting it. She was also quite the tactician, it was a surprising trait for a Baldurian Elf like herself. She was building my opinion of her- she was useful, the piles of dead goblins were a testament to that.  
When we finally dealt with the goblin problem, the party had been… worth it. Despite everything, I found myself enjoying it. The food was good enough and the Tieflings had provided adequate entertainment. It had not been the food or the entertainment that had caught my attention.  
It had been _her._ She had danced with Volo, the dog and the Tieflings. She had been wearing a plain dress- where she had acquired a frivolity I do not know, but it had shaped her quite nicely.

After her dancing she had talked to Gale. I did not hear what had been said, but I could see his face, hopeful at first, then dropping- he had been turned down. I almost felt sorry for him. She walked away from him and I watched as Astarion drew her attention- something about the wine, then next thing, she was shyly pushing her hair behind her ear, smiling up at him.

I bit back a sigh of frustration. He had accepted her advances. I told her of her mistake, of all of the things that I would have done to her. My lips, my fingers, my _tongue._ Alas, she had not seen the error of her ways and had chosen to spend the night with the vampire. And I, had gotten to know Wyll better.

_It was a shame though, I feel as though I had much more to offer her…_

_We could have had a lot of fun._

X

I was her first companion- I do not think that Lae’zel could be counted- I was her first traveling companion. That did not give me any special powers or rights. It did, however, give me a special insight into our journey. In particular, insight into the relationship between our ‘leader’ and her ‘not-so-secret’ infatuation, Astarion.

When the pair had first met he had feigned needing assistance. Claiming that he could see one of those brain creatures. I admit, I should have interfered, _helped,_ when he had her pinned to the ground. Honestly though, I wanted to see if she could handle herself. Evidently, she was able to deal with him effectively.

From the way that they had interacted and the way that she blushed at him, it was no surprise to me that she had invited him to join us. At the time, I had felt neutral to it. So long as he did not slit our throats while we slept, I would tolerate him. As time would prove, it would not be him _slitting_ our throats that I needed to worry about.

While Lae’zel had seemed offended at the notion that she would defend Astarion. That Tav would defend the vampire, and not only want to keep him with us, but allow him to drink from her. While I had been somewhat surprised that he had been a vampire, Tav’s reactions to the revelation had not surprised me at all. She had been practically infatuated with the man since she had met him- I would not be surprised if she had developed something when he had her pinned to the grass at the start.

It was not my business, and I honestly did not care about her infatuations. _She_ may be nosy, but that did not mean that _I_ was the same. When the dreams started she had tried to pry into my past again- I had not given her the information that she sought. I did, however, warn her of the dangers of the tadpole and what it used against us.   
She had seemed concerned that the parasite knew what to use against her, but had also talked of her temptation from the dream. After the dreams started, she seemed to take up sketching. I had caught her drawing flowers and a field- the place from her dream, she had said. I did not care, she could draw all she liked- it was when she draw _him_ that it caught my attention. At first I thought that it was Astarion, only it wasn’t. He looked like him, but it wasn’t. _Even the bloody tadpoles knew what was happening with the girl- about her crush._

It was interesting, to say the least, to watch a romance unfold before me, in the midst of all this. I could not say that I approved of their relationship- if you could call it that. He did not seem to be giving her the attention that she wanted from him. At least then I wouldn’t need to watch the pair being overly romantic with each other.  
That being said, the two managed to find other ways to irritate me. One example being when we came across the barn and heard some… less than pleasant sounds. _I_ would have been quite happy to not see what was behind the doors. Apparently she had felt differently and had opened the door, much to my chagrin and his amusement. Most of her decisions seemed to revolve around what would make him happy- I certainly did not find any benefit to murdering the vampire hunter in the middle of the woods.

When we had finally finished aiding the druids and Tieflings, I had actually been quite ready for a party. We had not the time for such endeavours, but even I felt as though it would be good for us to enjoy some time to simply relax and ‘party’. I will admit that I had cringed internally as I watched Gale express his desire to bed Tav- I _almost_ felt sorry for the man. That being said, what he blind? How did he not see what was happening around him?

I was not at all surprised that she turned the mage down. Gale was.. _something_. I did not know what was wrong with the mage, but I had a feeling at Tav did, and I am not sure that I wanted to know. What I did know is that something felt wrong when I stood beside him.   
Almost instantly after the embarrassment, she instantly we to Astarion- as though fleeing from Gale. I must admit that I was a little shocked when Astarion had agreed to her request of them sleeping together.

I questioned her on the wisdom of her decision, but I knew that it would do little good. As the couple snuck away later that night, I tried to ignore the pang I felt as I watched them.

_It is strange, I did not think that I would, but I find myself worried about Tav… but she has, grown on me. A fact that is perhaps the reason why I feel the way that I do when I watch her developing affections._

_It is a shame; I have a feeling that this will end in tragedy…_

_…perhaps she would have been better off with Lae-zel…_

X

As the newest member of the group, some would say that I had the most _unbiased_ opinion of my companions. I was also possibly the easiest to please out of our group- as long as we keep killing goblins and generally helping people, I was pretty happy.   
When I had first met Tav and the others, we were in battle so I did not really have the opportunity to make any first impressions- that being said, the way that they set themselves in combat said quite a bit about them.

From the first battle I noted that Astarion always stayed close to her. They moved across the battlefield together, she would use Eldritch blast(another interesting thing I noticed), and he would shoot arrows from behind her. If one of them were knocked out, the other was instantly there to help them- something that I noticed that they would do for each other in just about every other battle as well.

When I finally got to meet Tav and the others, I found that Tav was surprisingly kind- considering who her patron is, this fact will continue to surprise me. I learned quickly that we not only shared similar abilities but we also shared afflictions. Joining with them, I feel that I made the correct decision, I feel that we’ll do a lot of good together.

Her relationship with Astarion seemed to be a point of contention between the others, a fact that I noticed as soon as I joined the group. The others, namely the other two women of the group, would bring up at any given moment that he was a vampire and that he could eat them whenever he pleased. _That he was a liability._

I had no feelings either way, I understood that as a vampire, the man was dangerous. That being said Tav and I could also be considered dangerous due to our _associations_. While I don’t think that either of us were about to start eating the others, that did not mean that Astarion was about to either- and if you _really_ wanted to go there, any one of us could decide to go around eat the others, it would just take more effort.

Either way, Astarion had never made any threats, to me at least, so I found myself getting somewhat along with him- at least better than he did with Lae’zel and Shadowheart. He had a sense of humour, it was one of the first things that I noticed about him. It was the kind of sense of humour that took it’s pleasure from the inconveniences of others, if I hadn’t known that it was just his personality, I would have assumed that he was appeasing a patron through tormenting others.

It was amusing and almost sad to watch the two dance around each other. He acted as though he was not interested in her, but I caught it. The way that he would watch her in combat, making sure that she did not die. I was glad that he was keeping an eye out for her, it was good camaraderie. I honestly didn’t see the problem- if they wanted to bump uglies together, who cared? So long as it didn’t affect our mission.

There would be my only issue with their relationship…

The ‘ _It’s a shame’,_ if you will.

Relationships, more so in wars, had a tendency to be a liability.

_I hope that this doesn’t end in disaster._

_….also, thank you for turning her down, Tav, Lae’zel is a beast in the tent._

X

The first time that I met her, when I appeared before her, I was struck by how _stunning_ she was. She had flawless pale skin, a beautiful neck which led down to a curvaceous body. She was stunning. When she accepted me to their group, I had been pleased beyond measure. I needed special magical items and, at the time, I felt as though this group would be a way to finding them- My intuition had been correct.

The three of them had not been travelling long together when we had met. I had noticed a few things when I had joined them. One of them being they way her nose crinkled when she smiled, she had such a lovely smile. When in battle, her eyes would light up with each eldritch blast she used. She was a lovely sight. The way she moved, the tips of her fingers alight with fire as she danced around the field.   
I will admit, I have developed something of a crush… or less of a crush or more of an obsession… I also noticed how she interacted with the other two in our group. With Shadowheart, I noticed that she really tries, she tries to get to know the woman and constantly fails. With each hand extended, Shadowheart strikes her twice. I felt bad for her, she seemed to genuinely want to be friends with everyone in the group.

When the others joined the group she extended the same courtesies, she would try to get to know them- most of the time it worked, at least with Wyll, Volo and myself… the others, however, were more terse with her. Lae’zel just seemed angry with her- which was cruel, Tav was just a wonderful person and did not deserve any of it. Shadowheart was harsh enough, but at least she was amiable at times.

Then there was Astarion… Even with my infatuation with Tav, my rival in the relationship was the vampire. I watched the two from the time we started travelling to now. I knew how their relationship evolved. At first he was harsh to her- he still is, but he’s _softened_ to her. They seemed to have figured out how to work together from the start and constantly worked together.

He had always seemed constantly annoyed with her; and treated her as such. Tav, the sweet thing, took his dismissiveness in stride. She took everything in stride, she was never selfish. She always went out of her way to help us, even if _other_ members of the group were less than kind to her.  
Astarion seemed to know that she was fond of him; and knew how to use it. It _hurt_ to watch him take advantage of her.

It angered me. The creature of my infatuation was so pure, so wonderfully lovely, that the way the others- and in a way, myself- used her. Everyone wanted something from her. The tadpole being at the forefront of our needs but there were other needs. Mine were the worst of all. I wanted everything that she had to offer, and more. I wanted to have her pinned to every visible surface; wanted to _hear_ every sound that I create from her lips.   
I was a selfish man. I wanted everything from her. I would be on my knees to worship her, while at the same time demanding everything that she had to offer.

I will admit that I had a bit of an obsession.

I had held my feelings back. Her friendship was enough, but then she continued being kind; continued going out of her way to hep me. My _condition_ flared when she was around but also settled, my body was in a constant state of aching, and she was the cause.   
I eventually talked myself into asking her at the party. We had just finished helping the Tieflings and I had been watching her dance and be merry with those around her. He blue eyes flashing happily as she enjoyed the company- she had really needed the distraction from her woes.   
When she finally headed in my direction, I pulled my courage together, and asked her. I asked her to spend the evening with me- to allow me to love her.

She had not returned my affections.

She had smiled sadly at me. Her blue eyes reflecting her feelings while she explained to me that she did not feel that way. My heart had felt as though it had burst into a million pieces. I could feel the bile in my throat and my abdomen churned as she touched my shoulder, gave it a gentle squeeze, then left.   
I watched, feeling raw, as she left me and headed straight for _him._ It hurt to see the two laugh. To see him give her a smile filled with real fondness. I knew then, I had no chance. It wasn’t just her, it was him… he was as enamoured with her as she was with him- Astarion just had not figured it out yet. I had wanted to laugh in that moment.

_My romantic rival did not even know that he cared for the woman._

_I raised my drink in toast to her. The woman of my obsession._

_I hoped that he treated her the way that she deserved._

_It was a shame…. I would have worshipped her. In my arms, she would have been a goddess…_

_…no, she would have been so much more…_

X

I had done everything, short of stabbing the girl, to get her to stop her little crush. I had felt the pull to her when we had first met. When I had placed my blade to her neck- I could hear the thrumming of her blood while I had held her. I had known, even that early, that that had been the beginning of something.

I had snapped at her constantly, done everything in my power to push her away. I was not in the position to create attachments. I did not even know if I would be rid of my master. I was free for now, but it was only a matter of time, I could feel it in my bones. So I had done my best to push her away. The last thing that someone in my position needed was emotional attachments.

The little beast had other ideas. She constantly plagued me with her presence. She constantly looked out for me on the field, and always made sure that I had enough health potions- though I will admit, she did that for the others as well.  
Over our time together, she wormed and chiselled her way into my thoughts. She had this way of saying things to me that would stay with me. Saying things that filled me with a sense of comfort, as though things were going to be okay.

As irritating as she was, I found her presence comforting. She seemed to have a similar sense of humour to myself and tended to make decisions the resulted in my smiling. Then she did things that I knew were just for me. Because she cared.  
Allowing me to drink from her had been one of those things. I had been _hungry_. Hungrier than I could possibly imagine. I had not been that hungry in the _longest_ of times. The usual animals that I fed from had simply not covered it. I needed more; and she had been kind enough to let me feed from her.

When the others had voiced their concerns about my… peculiarities, she had stood up for me. She had put her faith in me and had defended me to them. I would be lying if I said that I had not felt something inside me warm at her actions.   
From that moment, my opinion of her had changed, she still irritated me to no end, but there was something endearing about her. As time went by, she had been burrowing, clawing her way through my defences and now… well now I was rather fond of her.

_The idea of it was horseshit, the feelings that she evoked. I could not stop them, I was powerless to powers that she did not know she possessed._

At the night of the party, I felt the eyes of those within our group on me; even while she spoke with Gale. I had known of the wizard’s feelings for Tav, and I was fairly certain that she was aware as well. He had put no real effort in hiding the feelings. I watched, with veiled amusement, as he offered to spend the night with her- the relief I had felt when she turned him down, had been as shocking as it was wonderful.

_Then she had come to me, had offered, to spend the evening with me. I will admit, as blasé as I had been at the time. I had also been excited._

_Our night together had been… wonderful._

_She had been everything that I had wanted from her. It would take time for the two of us to work out our likes and needs, but I feel as though she would be most agreeable to my suggestions._

_It was a shame; however, as I knew, within my heart of hearts, that I would break her heart._

_She was so innocent, so pure… I knew that I would be the one to break her…_

_I hoped that this was not the case… I hoped that I was wrong..._

_….it was such a shame._

A/N: Let me know what you think, thanks!


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